—From the testimonies of Judy Abrams, Johnny Jablon, and Michael Kutz

 

           Adult

Being ten and small, my task with the partisans

to crawl to the police station, place the dynamite,

connect the wires, a personal victory

avenging the death

of my family

my people.

 

          Blue Sky in My Mind

Where I would go

sometimes

when they beat me.

 

          Both This and That

To rape, Nazis

ripped the bras off

Jewish girls. For the Resistance, Jewish girls

in their bras

smuggled weapons.

 

         Catholic

The game now began in earnest. There was now only

Ilona and nobody would spit at her,

call her “Büdös Zsidó” (Stinking Jew).

She did not wear a yellow star. She had become

a “real” Hungarian girl.

 

          Commander Göth

On his white horse, he says to the dog Jew

and the dog jumps at [Johnny holds his hand like teeth

to the base of his throat.]

 

            Festive Wild Chestnuts

Where I would go in my mind

to remember my mother.

 

          God

When I was ten years old, I heard the last cries—

Jews reciting Shema Yisrael on their way

to mass graves in my hometown of Nieśwież.

 

          God

To adopt a negative opinion of God would have meant

giving up the struggle to survive and especially

giving up on my mother’s last words to me.

 

          Hope

Every time the guard,

I don’t know his name, every time

I pass him by, he gave me

a piece of bread.

 

          Hunger

We traded tablecloths

for black market potatoes. One week we had carrots.

Carrots, carrots, carrots.

 

          Ingenuity

I couldn’t see out of the grave, so I made

a step ladder of the dead.

 

          Limited Sell by Date

I actually thought

that this was kind of a game.

 

          Luck

I was in the “hospital” with typhoid.

After a few days with typhoid, they come and shoot you.

The doctor, he knew me from school.

He said Yanick, get up get a broom.

They shot all the other guys.

 

          Lucky

One of the beasts started to beat my dearest mother.

I threw myself on him with the fist.

I can still hear

his sadistic laugh together with my mother’s scream.

Then I felt a blow to my head, and I lost consciousness.

I was left for dead. They left me bleeding

on the floor. I had lost everything.

 

          Miracle

At the grave, the German, I looked at him.

He shout to me Jump! I was frozen.

So, he took the gun over the head at me,

and I fell in the grave. I fell in the grave

the dead on top of me.

 

          Neighbors

They would say to the Germans He’s a Jew,

He’s a Jew. When the word got around

that the Jews are moving to the ghetto, the whole villages around Krakow

came in to rob the Jews. Hundreds of them on the street

just waiting on the street for the Jews.

[To show anticipation Johnny’s hands shake.]

 

          Oh

Although I had always hoped

I would learn the haftorah for my bar mitz­vah,

I now sensed

this would never happen.

 

          Oh

They made us to undress completely naked,

completely naked. Some of the women

tried to hold themselves, not to expose [Michael crosses his arms

below the angle of the camera].

 

          Party Bus

Lithuanians, Ukrainians,

Belorussians drunk and

reeking of vodka all

with automatic weapons

on their shoulders, revolvers

on their hips, uniforms

already covered in blood.

 

          Revenge

Well, I survived.

Well, I

survived.

 

                           Well,

I

sur       viv       ed.

w

  e

       l

             l

I

   s

u

  r

v

     i

v

e

             d

             Righteous Gentiles

How can you say this child is Jewish?

She’s a better Christian than you, you punk.

 

          Strangers

My parents came back

from Bergen-Belsen.

 

          Unrailed

At this point they were not deporting

Jews to Auschwitz anymore. They simply

took the Jews to the Danube, lined them up,

shot them into the icy waters.

 

          Witness

I will always remember

my mother’s last words to me.

If, by miracle, you survive, you must bear

witness and tell the free world

what happened to us.

 

          X

[interviewer off camera]: How did you feel?

People will want to know.

How did you feel?

 

This poem was composed using phrases from the memoirs and interviews of three Canadian Holocaust survivors published through the Azrieli Foundation’s Holocaust Survivor Memoirs Program. As featured on the Azrieli Foundation’s site Re:Collection, words from Judy Abrams’s Tenuous Threads, Johnny Jablon’s A Lasting Legacy and Michael Kutz’s If, By Miracle have been reproduced with the permission of the Azrieli Foundation.

 

________

Deborah Bacharach is the author of Shake & Tremor (Grayson Books, 2021) and After I Stop Lying (Cherry Grove Collections, 2015). Her work has recently appeared in Poetry East, Last Syllable, Only Poems, and Grist among many other journals, and she has received a Pushcart prize honorable mention. She is a poetry reader for SWWIM and Whale Road Review. Find out more about her at DeborahBacharach.com.

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